So, I know I've been terribly absent, and I know I'm currently nn failing mode on my 365 project (again). I know all that, but although knowing it I feel that the sorrow should definitely be bigger. Anyway, I just need to come up with some sort of excuse, when in the end all I got is a round zero to explain the plain facts about my absence in photography lately. My camera has been waiting for days on the desk, my film camera is beside it, with a brand new film to be loaded, and I haven't got much out of the house, despite going to school and coming back home again. My new apartment is still more half than empty, and if I don't get a job soon we might need to go back to our parents house again, since my boyfriend doesn't know if he's keeping his current job. School is alright, even though it could be better if I was a little more motivated.
So I'm feeling numb and unable to change anything. But I'm here to officially let go that I'm willing to try harder. By harder I mean actually try; try to get out more, try to get more inspired and finish the damn 365 project, which I still think I begin in the wrong year, try harder about other projects, try harder about school and try harder at getting a job. Well, I actually need to start trying.
For this I need to be a little time offline. I've been spending way too much time on a computer for so many years. Making the math, since I've spent about 7 hours per day on a computer since I was 11, that without counting the hours I've spent when I was even younger, that might as well mean I've spent about 3 years of my life facing a screen. It's way too much and it's shocking, and I feel like I need to do something about it. I've been currently forgetting about the things that I truly love to do, and I've been forgetting that there's a life out there for me, there's a life outside this screen. There's a life I truly need to start living.
So I need a pause. More than a pause on the project. I need a pause from this technological routine. I will be back soon enough, in the mean time, let's see if I can handle living apart from what I've grown attached: an illusion where exists worlds to achieve without having to fight hard for them. It's finally time that I wake up.
I love you all! <3